Billie Eilish’s insights from her song ‘What Was I Made For?’
Billie Eilish Opens Up: The Inspiration Behind “What Was I Made For?” and Navigating Fame in Hollywood’s “Barbie” Era
“This is kinda dark,” Billie Eilish admits, her 21-year-old frame sinking into a cozy sofa at a Los Angeles studio, clad in black pants and sporting vibrant red and black hair. She gently places an acai bowl aside before delving into the heavy topic on her mind. “Recently, I was reading Kurt Cobain’s suicide note.”
The pop sensation, known for her brooding take on Top 40 hits, expresses deep sorrow for the late Nirvana frontman. “It’s horrifying. I mean, all of it is the most tragic s— I’ve ever heard. He was such a pure person and talent,” she reflects. Cobain’s struggle with the loneliness of success resonates with Eilish, and she emphasizes, “It’s just not what you think it’s going to be.”
Today, Eilish isn’t here to bemoan the challenges of being a world-famous celebrity, a status she’s held since her quadruple-platinum debut album in 2019. She acknowledges that complaining from a place of privilege might not be well-received. However, at my prompting, she opens up about the emotional backdrop of her latest single, the hauntingly beautiful “What Was I Made For?”. This poignant ballad delves into the narrative of losing the ability to find happiness, set against a backdrop of melancholic piano chords.
Surprisingly, this introspective piece emerged as part of the Hollywood phenomenon known as “Barbie,” directed by Greta Gerwig. The blockbuster, resplendent in pink, is a musical showcase featuring hits by artists like Dua Lipa, Charli XCX, and Nicki Minaj. Yet, “What Was I Made For?” stands apart, offering a smaller, slower, and more contemplative vibe.
Gerwig sought Eilish and her brother-producer, Finneas O’Connell, to craft “Barbie’s heart song.” Describing the experience, Gerwig recalls receiving the demo with just Eilish’s vocals and O’Connell on piano, noting, “It totally wrecked me.” Since its release, the song has achieved tremendous success, securing the number one spot on the alternative music chart for nine consecutive weeks and garnering five Grammy nominations.
Eilish, who clinched the original song Oscar in 2022 with “No Time to Die,” reflects on the unexpected success of “What Was I Made For?”. She shares a positive aspect of fame, recounting the thrill of seeing herself on giant screens during a ballgame, admitting, “Fame can be so horrendous, but there are parts of it that rock.”
Contrary to assumptions, Eilish clarifies that she didn’t write “What Was I Made For?” with herself in mind. Instead, she envisioned the perspective of Barbie, a character in Gerwig’s film who discovers that perfection isn’t real. The song, as Gerwig describes, became a theme for Barbie’s awakening.
Reflecting on her own life, Eilish opens up about the toll of external validation during her teenage years and how it impacted her sense of self-worth. A period of happiness in 2019 gave way to challenges brought by the pandemic, a new album (“Happier Than Ever”), and the struggles of growing up. The song captures this journey with lines like, “I used to float… Now I just fall down.”
She thought changing her appearance, going from green hair to a dramatic blond, would bring contentment. However, the blond era felt like a costume, causing her to lose her identity. Returning to black hair, she found solace and channeled her feelings into music.
Playing a voice memo from the night she and her brother wrote the song, Eilish emphasizes the delicate nature of “What Was I Made For?”. As Mark Ronson and Andrew Wyatt incorporated an orchestral arrangement, Eilish skillfully places the spotlight on her evolving vocal prowess, demonstrating her growing ability to wield it as a musical instrument.
As Eilish and O’Connell wrap up her third LP, she contemplates the evolution of her music as she enters her twenties. Acknowledging the unique experiences of artists like Olivia Rodrigo, she feels protective of younger talents, including Rodrigo, whom she mentions in her song “Goldwing.” Eilish sees a reflection of herself in these young artists, particularly the girls, and expresses a desire to shield them from the harshness of the industry.
In the whirlwind of fame, Billie Eilish continues to navigate her artistic journey, finding inspiration in unexpected places, and offering a candid glimpse into the complexities of stardom and self-discovery.
By: M Z Hossain, Editor Sky Buzz Feed
